Progressive Revolution

News and opinions, mostly opinions. Oh and sarcasm… LOTS of sarcasm.

Why Does Sarah Palin Hate Polar Bears?

with 9 comments

John McCain’s running mate Sarah Palin, the Republican Governer of Alaska, is, according to all of the coverage I’ve seen about her, a big fan of moose meat.  But does she like the taste of my favorite animal, the polar bear too?  Here’s a quote from an op-ed she wrote for the New York Times in January:

…(P)olar bears are magnificent animals… They are worthy of our utmost efforts to protect them and their Arctic habitat. But adding polar bears to the nation’s list of endangered species, as some are now proposing, should not be part of those efforts.

The world’s polar bear population is estimated at just 25,000, according to her piece.  The habitat of polar bears is changing quickly due to global warming.  Something needs to be done to save these amazing, ass-kicking creatures, but Mrs. Palin doesn’t want them added to the endangered species list.  Why you may ask?  Well she says it’s because the population of polar bears in here state has remained stable for the last 20 years.  That’s not to say that their populations aren’t hurting elsewhere, but in her state, so far, they’re okay.

Gov. Palin loves bears... as decorative pieces for her home.

How could any person have such hatred in their heart for such amazing animals?  Bears are just minding their business, catching salmon in Alaska’s beautiful rivers, eating honey, and hanging out with their donkey and ti(g)ger friends and Gov. Palin wants to fly by in a helicopter and kill them and make them into blankets and rugs.

This could be a disaster for John McCain, the last thing the Republicans need is bears protesting their convention.  Just in case there are some bears reading this, I have some suggestions for protest signs:

  • Palin don’t cares about bears
  • Bears are people too
  • I wish Republicans hibernated
  • I’m not a rug
  • Stay out of my uterus (She is against abortions for people, I can only assume she’s against them for bears, because an aborted bear is a bear she can’t shoot.)

I have an idea as to why Gov. Palin is against putting polar bears on the endangered species list.  If polar bears are labeled endangered, oil companies won’t be able to drill for oil in areas the bears call home.  You might be wondering why Gov. Palin would be trying to protect oil companies, I did too, until I read that her husband is an employee of BP.  Apparently John McCain feels that big oil doesn’t have enough influence in Washington, so having the wife of an oil man a heartbeat (a weak, frail, old, heartbeat) away from the presidency is a great idea.  Personally I think we and the bears are all fucked.

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Written by J.P. Franklin

August 29, 2008 at 11:06 pm

9 Responses

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  1. But, like Steven Colbert says, bears are the undisputed #1 threat to our nation!

    leapsecond

    August 29, 2008 at 11:12 pm

  2. I suppose she has experience fighting an insurgency then, so she has that going for her.

    J.P. Franklin

    August 29, 2008 at 11:17 pm

  3. Didn’t you read the article. You sound smarter than this. Open your eyes and your mind to the big picture. We all want to be good stewards of the planet but in all things there must be reasonable balance. Be a thinking man and a problem solver and not a pawn for the radical left. Get the facts (hard to do these days) and draw your own conlusions. And regarding global warming, if you check your facts, there is not even concenssus on that. A large number of scientists will not even confirm the existence of “man-made” global warming. I don’t know you. Maybe your not interested in searching out truth. Maybe your just politically motivated and bent on railing on what you may or may not know. I am still looking for facts. If you to are not content with the way things are you may want to ask why the gas prices have doubled since the Democrats regained the House and Senate or why, even with a majority, they can’t seem to get a single item passed from the liberal agenda – save Minimum Wage. Folks are blaming Bush for High gas and it just doesn’t play. The most I payed under Clinton was $2.48/gal near Chicago and when the Democrats regained control of the house and senate some 6 years later, the national average for gas was $2.13/gal. It’s now peaked over $4.00/gal. You may have an agenda here. I do not. I’m just joe citizen. I love my country and do my best to serve her. I am looking for an honest answer to who has the ability, the courage and the know-how to make real change happen. I know I am not happy with the current state of affairs and I to will be voting for change and believe that Gov. Palin may be exactly what this country needs. Enjoy your Labor Day. r/greg

    Greg

    August 30, 2008 at 10:32 am

  4. Thank you for your comment. I’d like to respond firstly by saying, this was mostly satire. I don’t really think Gov. Palin has an unquenchable lust for bear blood. I’m not going to argue about global warming with you, a vast majority of scientists agree it is man-made. I’d like to see your evidence otherwise. You can’t vote for change if you’re voting for McCain. He has voted with Bush 90% of the time and seems to be proud of it. Palin has ties to big oil and is being investigated by her state for firing the state police commissioner because he refused to fire her sister’s ex-husband. She is also against any kind of abortion, even in cases of rape and incest. This isn’t anything new, this isn’t change, this is the same crap we’ve dealt with for 8 years. Democrats can’t pass legislation for two reasons. The first reason is they have the narrowest majority possible in the senate, when you need sixty votes to pass anything it’s hard to do with fifty-one. The second reason is that there is a Republican president who either vetoes or adds, what I believe to be, unconstitutional signing statements where he essentially changes the law to what he wants.
    A vote for McCain/Palin this November is a vote for corporations and the wealthy. If you’re okay with giving more of your money to those who already have so much, be my guest, vote Republican. But if you want to help those who weren’t born with a silver spoon in their mouth, I recommend you vote Obama/Biden.

    J.P. Franklin

    August 30, 2008 at 10:51 am

  5. Yeah, if you want change you can vote for Obama…but you have to remember what kind of change he’s bringing to the table. He’s bringing the big change of inexperience. True enough, Biden has experience, but I personally believe that the President needs to lead the VP, not the other way around. I’m not particularly happy with McCain’s choice of running mate, but I like the idea that both he and Sarah Palin will both pledge allegiance to the US flag. The same can’t be said for Obama.

    Sarah

    September 2, 2008 at 8:28 am

  6. HAHAHA YES!! The old “Obama won’t say the pledge” claim. Lookie what I found, video evidence of that America hating terrorist saying the pledge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JD6bKaVW-ls&hl=en&fs=1

    Biden isn’t there to lead Barack, he is there to assist him, to tell him when he’s wrong. Barack wants to surround himself with intelligent people who will speak their minds, rather than yes-men like Bush has surrounded himself with.

    J.P. Franklin

    September 2, 2008 at 11:23 am

  7. Polar bears are doing just fine.

    Mr. C

    September 5, 2008 at 9:38 pm

  8. Really? Do you have evidence of that or are you just using the conservative tactic of making a blanket statement and since you’ve said it, it’s true. That’s not going to fly here.

    J.P. Franklin

    September 6, 2008 at 12:37 am

  9. Check out this photo of Sarah Palin coming face to face with a Polar Bear. Pure Beauty.

    http://girldujour.wordpress.com/2008/11/17/palin-comes-face-to-face-with-a-polar-bear-after-the-election-photo/

    girldujour

    November 16, 2008 at 11:49 pm


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