Progressive Revolution

News and opinions, mostly opinions. Oh and sarcasm… LOTS of sarcasm.

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Palin Has Foreign Policy Experience!

with 2 comments

Of course, Alaska is near Russia so she must call Moscow all the time, since Putin gives a shit about Alaska and all.  Steve Doocy may very well be the stupidest man on television.

Advertisements

Written by J.P. Franklin

August 29, 2008 at 11:31 pm

Why Does Sarah Palin Hate Polar Bears?

with 9 comments

John McCain’s running mate Sarah Palin, the Republican Governer of Alaska, is, according to all of the coverage I’ve seen about her, a big fan of moose meat.  But does she like the taste of my favorite animal, the polar bear too?  Here’s a quote from an op-ed she wrote for the New York Times in January:

…(P)olar bears are magnificent animals… They are worthy of our utmost efforts to protect them and their Arctic habitat. But adding polar bears to the nation’s list of endangered species, as some are now proposing, should not be part of those efforts.

The world’s polar bear population is estimated at just 25,000, according to her piece.  The habitat of polar bears is changing quickly due to global warming.  Something needs to be done to save these amazing, ass-kicking creatures, but Mrs. Palin doesn’t want them added to the endangered species list.  Why you may ask?  Well she says it’s because the population of polar bears in here state has remained stable for the last 20 years.  That’s not to say that their populations aren’t hurting elsewhere, but in her state, so far, they’re okay.

Gov. Palin loves bears... as decorative pieces for her home.

How could any person have such hatred in their heart for such amazing animals?  Bears are just minding their business, catching salmon in Alaska’s beautiful rivers, eating honey, and hanging out with their donkey and ti(g)ger friends and Gov. Palin wants to fly by in a helicopter and kill them and make them into blankets and rugs.

This could be a disaster for John McCain, the last thing the Republicans need is bears protesting their convention.  Just in case there are some bears reading this, I have some suggestions for protest signs:

  • Palin don’t cares about bears
  • Bears are people too
  • I wish Republicans hibernated
  • I’m not a rug
  • Stay out of my uterus (She is against abortions for people, I can only assume she’s against them for bears, because an aborted bear is a bear she can’t shoot.)

I have an idea as to why Gov. Palin is against putting polar bears on the endangered species list.  If polar bears are labeled endangered, oil companies won’t be able to drill for oil in areas the bears call home.  You might be wondering why Gov. Palin would be trying to protect oil companies, I did too, until I read that her husband is an employee of BP.  Apparently John McCain feels that big oil doesn’t have enough influence in Washington, so having the wife of an oil man a heartbeat (a weak, frail, old, heartbeat) away from the presidency is a great idea.  Personally I think we and the bears are all fucked.

Written by J.P. Franklin

August 29, 2008 at 11:06 pm

Ann Coulter: Reading Suggestions for Conservatives

leave a comment »

Written by J.P. Franklin

August 20, 2008 at 4:45 pm

A Look Inside Conservative’s Minds

with 7 comments

So I went to the conservative cesspool known as TownHall.com.  I read an article claiming that Obama supporters want $10 gas.  The article was based on hearsay and had no actual evidence to support their claims.  They wanted a headline, kind of like this site here.  That site has a headline that makes it sound like Obama has taken more money than McCain from oil companies, but McCain has infact recieved over $800,000 more than Obama from oil companies and their employees.

I was looking at the comments on this article about $10 gas and what I saw, frankly, scared me.

Subject: Beezer
Funny you should mention House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, that shrill, wretched, greedy, and detestable politician. If I had any say in as to what to do with her…. I would have her stripped naked, tarred and feathered, and paraded around America in the bed of an American made pickup truck. I’ll bet she doesn’t buy her own fuel for her vehicles.
I’m all for American made products but I’m not cool with stripping women naked in public and tar and feathering them.  But wait there’s more!

Limosine Liberals Destroy Economy
It may be necessary for the ordinary citizen in our fair country to raise up and preserve it. Pigosi’s plan is for her and a few of her ilk to force the rest of us to kowtow to blatant environalism. While she burns more fuel going back and forth to her district (in a tax payer provided jumbo jet) that an entire village could use in a year. It is more of “do as I say, not do as I do”. We should seriously consider hanging the whole lot of worthless hangers-on starting with ladies first. PELOSI, BOXER, CLINTON, WINSTIEN, THEN SOROS THE CURRENCY MANIPULATOR, ETC.

How else do you propose she go from California to Washington?  Covered wagon maybe?  And WTF is the deal with the death threats.  And ladies first?  WOW!

Goal of Socialists
The global warming hoax and killing exploration of new sources of oil are anti-Capitalist schemes to get the socialists to control everything and turn this into a completely socialist nation…If the general public ever figures this out, the socialists will be lucky if they only lose in elections……..Soros will be the first one on the end of a rope if he lives that long…..

Another hanging threat!
Subject: AMANDA
You need to do everything you can to get this video on Fox News. This is a real eye-opener, and because these people are all Obama supporters, the logical extension is that this is what Obama wants as well.

The majority of Americans never read Town Hall and since the journalists here are conservative, most of them never are seen in MSM newspapers. Contact Fox News and tell them that “Americans have the right to know!!” This is what Messiah Obama has planned for them!

So when I see McCain supporters spewing racial hatred I can assume that John McCain is a racist right?

Obama sticking with fellow towel heads

Obama, at one time, wanted to tap into oil reserves,then put more in the reserves,he’s been against drilling, becaue he wants to keep in the graces of fellow muslims..then when he saw that Bush was lifting the ban on drilling and the American people were applauding it…that’s when he turned into a DRILL supporter..Now, his energy plan is PUT MORE AIR IN YOUR TIRES…dah…now, that’s innovation..
His is not seasoned enough to sit in the Oval Office…
Firstly, when you start your post with a racial epithet, you lose all credibility.  Secondly, it has been proven that everyone inflated their tires would save more gas than offshore drilling would produce.

here, here
It is true, if one ignores the extensive position papers that one can find at Obama’s website one has no idea what it is he proposes to do as president. No doubt he will destroy our country with obscenely large job gains of the ’90s rather than the healthier more moderate job gains we have seen on the ’00s.

There is nothing I hate more than “obscenely large job gains”, I much prefer our “moderate job gains”.  Maybe McCain can make that his campaign slogan; “John McCain: Keeping Job Growth Under Control”.
I think one word describes these people: Ignorant.

Written by J.P. Franklin

August 9, 2008 at 1:27 am