Progressive Revolution

News and opinions, mostly opinions. Oh and sarcasm… LOTS of sarcasm.

Posts Tagged ‘Bears

Why Does Sarah Palin Hate Polar Bears?

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John McCain’s running mate Sarah Palin, the Republican Governer of Alaska, is, according to all of the coverage I’ve seen about her, a big fan of moose meat.  But does she like the taste of my favorite animal, the polar bear too?  Here’s a quote from an op-ed she wrote for the New York Times in January:

…(P)olar bears are magnificent animals… They are worthy of our utmost efforts to protect them and their Arctic habitat. But adding polar bears to the nation’s list of endangered species, as some are now proposing, should not be part of those efforts.

The world’s polar bear population is estimated at just 25,000, according to her piece.  The habitat of polar bears is changing quickly due to global warming.  Something needs to be done to save these amazing, ass-kicking creatures, but Mrs. Palin doesn’t want them added to the endangered species list.  Why you may ask?  Well she says it’s because the population of polar bears in here state has remained stable for the last 20 years.  That’s not to say that their populations aren’t hurting elsewhere, but in her state, so far, they’re okay.

Gov. Palin loves bears... as decorative pieces for her home.

How could any person have such hatred in their heart for such amazing animals?  Bears are just minding their business, catching salmon in Alaska’s beautiful rivers, eating honey, and hanging out with their donkey and ti(g)ger friends and Gov. Palin wants to fly by in a helicopter and kill them and make them into blankets and rugs.

This could be a disaster for John McCain, the last thing the Republicans need is bears protesting their convention.  Just in case there are some bears reading this, I have some suggestions for protest signs:

  • Palin don’t cares about bears
  • Bears are people too
  • I wish Republicans hibernated
  • I’m not a rug
  • Stay out of my uterus (She is against abortions for people, I can only assume she’s against them for bears, because an aborted bear is a bear she can’t shoot.)

I have an idea as to why Gov. Palin is against putting polar bears on the endangered species list.  If polar bears are labeled endangered, oil companies won’t be able to drill for oil in areas the bears call home.  You might be wondering why Gov. Palin would be trying to protect oil companies, I did too, until I read that her husband is an employee of BP.  Apparently John McCain feels that big oil doesn’t have enough influence in Washington, so having the wife of an oil man a heartbeat (a weak, frail, old, heartbeat) away from the presidency is a great idea.  Personally I think we and the bears are all fucked.

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Written by J.P. Franklin

August 29, 2008 at 11:06 pm