Progressive Revolution

News and opinions, mostly opinions. Oh and sarcasm… LOTS of sarcasm.

Posts Tagged ‘Oil

Why Does Sarah Palin Hate Polar Bears?

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John McCain’s running mate Sarah Palin, the Republican Governer of Alaska, is, according to all of the coverage I’ve seen about her, a big fan of moose meat.  But does she like the taste of my favorite animal, the polar bear too?  Here’s a quote from an op-ed she wrote for the New York Times in January:

…(P)olar bears are magnificent animals… They are worthy of our utmost efforts to protect them and their Arctic habitat. But adding polar bears to the nation’s list of endangered species, as some are now proposing, should not be part of those efforts.

The world’s polar bear population is estimated at just 25,000, according to her piece.  The habitat of polar bears is changing quickly due to global warming.  Something needs to be done to save these amazing, ass-kicking creatures, but Mrs. Palin doesn’t want them added to the endangered species list.  Why you may ask?  Well she says it’s because the population of polar bears in here state has remained stable for the last 20 years.  That’s not to say that their populations aren’t hurting elsewhere, but in her state, so far, they’re okay.

Gov. Palin loves bears... as decorative pieces for her home.

How could any person have such hatred in their heart for such amazing animals?  Bears are just minding their business, catching salmon in Alaska’s beautiful rivers, eating honey, and hanging out with their donkey and ti(g)ger friends and Gov. Palin wants to fly by in a helicopter and kill them and make them into blankets and rugs.

This could be a disaster for John McCain, the last thing the Republicans need is bears protesting their convention.  Just in case there are some bears reading this, I have some suggestions for protest signs:

  • Palin don’t cares about bears
  • Bears are people too
  • I wish Republicans hibernated
  • I’m not a rug
  • Stay out of my uterus (She is against abortions for people, I can only assume she’s against them for bears, because an aborted bear is a bear she can’t shoot.)

I have an idea as to why Gov. Palin is against putting polar bears on the endangered species list.  If polar bears are labeled endangered, oil companies won’t be able to drill for oil in areas the bears call home.  You might be wondering why Gov. Palin would be trying to protect oil companies, I did too, until I read that her husband is an employee of BP.  Apparently John McCain feels that big oil doesn’t have enough influence in Washington, so having the wife of an oil man a heartbeat (a weak, frail, old, heartbeat) away from the presidency is a great idea.  Personally I think we and the bears are all fucked.

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Written by J.P. Franklin

August 29, 2008 at 11:06 pm

Obama Speaks at Victory Column, McCain Speaks at Sausage Haus

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While Barack Obama was in Berlin giving what could end up being an historic speech, McCain was in Columbus, Ohio speaking at Schmidt’s Sausage Haus in German Village.  Everyday the McCain campaign is becoming more and more of a parody of itself.  I feel sorry for him, he really should have just taken the week off.  First there was the pictures of Obama in a helicopter with Petraus and sinking three pointers, on the same day McCain went golfing with George H.W. Bush.  Obama is in a war zone while McCain is at a country club, this isn’t making Obama look very elitist.  Then yesterday Obama was in Israel making a speech saying that we should never let another holocaust happen, then McCain’s campaign says that Obama has flip-flopped on his position on genocide.  Are you kidding me, is this real?  Then McCain spoke in a grocery store in front of a cheese case.  Why the cheese case?  To show that McCain can handle his lactose?  I suppose that’s a good thing, you don’t want your president negotiating with the Iranians and needing to leave the bargaining table because he stopped at Starbuck’s for a frappucino with extra whip cream.  Or perhaps he did it to show that he gets his daily allowance of calcium and takes his Boniva to prevent osteoperosis.  (On a side note: Sally Field = GILF)  Speaking of types of “ILFs” McCain also helped a MILF with her grocery shopping, because John McCain is a lady’s man.  And now there has been an oil spill in the Mississippi River, something that may make people think about the safety of offshore drilling

I really think the McCain campaign might be on it’s last leg.  They look more desperate for attention by the second.  Do you want people to listen to what you have to say?  Do you want to get some attention?  Try putting forth some news ideas, let us know there is a better way, inspire us with hope, don’t make us timid with fear.  As Barack said today in Berlin, it is up to our generation to face these challenges that we face, terrorism, climate change, rogue nuclear nations, we need to fix these problems to ensure a future for humankind.  We must work together as citizens of the world, not just citizens of nations, these are not problems one country alone can solve, it’s going to take a world-wide effort.  What country is better suited to spearhead this effort than the US?  We are the wealthiest, most powerful nation, ever, we can do this.  But we need the help of our brothers and sisters of all lands to get this done.  Doesn’t it make sense that we should have a president who is respected by the world rather than one that is a joke?

Written by J.P. Franklin

July 24, 2008 at 4:20 pm